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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Freshly posted on Discord:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Spotted on X:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Trending via Facebook:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Just landed via Facebook:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

Witty quote about the frustration of Mondays, featuring playful, relatable humor.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mondays are like boomerangs; no matter how hard I try, they just keep coming back! 🙄🔄😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

43 shares on X this month:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,747

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Spotted on Facebook:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Live now on Slack:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

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