Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,839

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Spotted on Reddit:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Just shared via TikTok:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Broadcasted on X:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Breaking via Slack:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Just shared via Facebook:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Spotted on Messenger:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Just shared via YouTube:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Priorities, am I right? 🕰️👟 Who needs to save the world when you can save your shoe collection instead? #TimeTravelGoals"

buying, disease, else, everyone, fashion, favorite, humor, interest, making, me, multiple, nostalgia, personal, personal interest, priorities, sh, shopping, spread, time, time travel, travel, wars

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

0

2 months ago

awkward, comedy, everyday, forgetfulness, hand, holding, humor, looking, me, move, phone, relatability, self-deprecating, signature, smartphone, tech
Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

0

5 months ago

casual, casual language, color, confusion, day, difference, gray, grey, honesty, humor, i, just, know, language, lie, spelling, wing
It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

0

2 months ago

amazing, attitude, both, cat, cats, ears, humor, ignore, ignoring, pet
The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

0

2 months ago

filter, grass, greener, humor, illusion, just, over, perception, perspective, reality, sarcasm
My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, conversation, debt, finance, humor, i, joke, longer, money, relationship, speaking, terms
Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, around, carrying, conversation, humor, joke, just, meant, misunderstanding, spill, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

84 shares on Discord this month:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

68 shares on Discord this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

85 shares on Slack this month:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Going viral on Threads:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Just shared via Messenger:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Spotted on Threads:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Breaking via TikTok:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Going bananas on Slack:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Just landed via YouTube:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨