funny spread quotes - Wordgag

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

May 28, 2026

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

May 27, 2026

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

May 23, 2026

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

May 23, 2026

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

May 22, 2026

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

May 21, 2026