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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,779

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Going viral on Messenger:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Where's the sign-up sheet for "eating snacks on the couch" club? 🍿🏠😂

activity, busy, club, degree, doing, engaged, everyone, Japan, master’s degree, Masters, run, run club, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

1 month ago
dirty, every, humor, humor statistic, joke, observation, people, perception, playful, sarcasm, sentence, something, statistic
People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

4 weeks ago
collaborate, collaboration, communication, humor, just, listen, listening, nostalgia, people, stop, used
Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

1 month ago
cough, drop, drops, floor, hard, humor, joke, mouth, observation, think, wordplay
The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

1 month ago
birth, birth preparation, breathing, breathing exercise, child, course, exercise, humor, once, parenting, preparation, puberty
Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

1 month ago
deficiency, fast, health, health humor, humor, iron, iron deficiency, joke, nutrition, pun, stand, too, wellness
Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

1 month ago
age, fun, humor, life, petition, retirement, tired, work

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Spotted on Discord:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Just landed via Slack:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Spotted on Facebook:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Just landed via Instagram:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

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Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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