Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.
  • As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.
  • I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.
  • 90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”
  • Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.
  • The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.