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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,885

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Breaking via Instagram:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Going viral on Reddit:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Bravery is all fun and games until you meet a determined goose on a mission! 🦢😂 #GooseGotMeShook"

brave, bravery, chase, chasing, everyone, fear, goose, humor, right, unexpected, wildlife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

1 month ago
boom, boom shakalaka, expression, humor, nobody, nostalgia, phrase, say, shakalaka, used
If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

1 month ago
alone, entertainment, humor, questions, relationship, show, TV, TV Show, woman
Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

1 month ago
bar, everyone, expectation, humor, irony, line, love, open, open bar, patient, relationship, wedding
I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

4 weeks ago
favorite, favorite part, humor, i, interruption, music, over, restart, song, talk, talking
Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

1 month ago
bad, health, humor, Instagram, media, mental, mental health, outlook, social, social media, stress, technology, work, work stress
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

2 months ago
Facebook, glasses, life, people, social media, sunglasses

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Going viral on Slack:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Spotted on Facebook:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Making waves on TikTok:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

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Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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