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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Spotted on X:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Trending via YouTube:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Making waves on Discord:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Making waves on YouTube:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

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Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.
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Commentary:
🌈 Double rainbow sighting, the ultimate game changer! 😂 Suddenly everyone's tough facade melts away in awe of the magical phenomenon. It's amazing how nature's beauty can bring out the soft side in even the toughest of gangstas! 🌈🌈 #RainbowMagic #UnexpectedSofties

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Trending via TikTok:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Shared recently on Twitch:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Just shared via Messenger:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Just landed via Slack:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

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