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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Going viral on Instagram:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Just shared via Discord:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

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Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs revenge when you can just outshine them with those killer muscles? 💪😏 Exercise: the ultimate enemy-destroying weapon with a side of endorphins! 🏋️‍♂️🔥 #SweatinNotStressin"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Going viral on Instagram:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Shared recently on Slack:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

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