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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Spotted on Telegram:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Making waves on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Just landed via Telegram:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Making waves on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Making waves on Discord:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Live now on YouTube:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

2 months ago

0

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the cruel irony of adulting hitting harder than expected! 🙈💁‍♀️ Who knew that "having it all" also meant having all the bills, responsibilities, and empty wine bottles? 🍷🏠 Hang in there, ladies – at least the apartment is nice! 💪😂 #AdultingAtItsFinest

40, apartment, crying, empty, feminism, have it all, humor, independence, independent, nice, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

0

2 months ago

commentary, digital, digital life, helping, humor, i, internet, irony, life, online, seems, should, social, social commentary, society, spend, technology, think, time, try
Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

0

2 months ago

blanket, humor, irony, needs, pressure, relaxation, stress, weight, weighted, world
What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

0

5 months ago

finite, humor, infinite, mystery, paradox, philosophy, secret, thing, third, universe
Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

0

2 months ago

efficiency, humor, me, technology, time, waste, wasting
Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

0

3 weeks ago

before, driving, green, green light, hours, humor, i, light, marriage, me, patience, relationship, sit, stoplight, tell, waiting
Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

0

2 months ago

day, going, having, humor, i, least, life, myself, plan, planned, pregnancy, pregnancy test, relief, remind, reminder, still, stress, stress relief, take, test, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

24 shares on Discord this month:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

12 shares on X this month:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

51 shares on Discord this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,890

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Going bananas on Instagram:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Spotted on Instagram:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Spotted on Twitch:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Making waves on X:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Going viral on Instagram:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Just shared via WeChat:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

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