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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Just landed via Slack:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Just landed via TikTok:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Trending via Instagram:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Just shared via X:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Trending via WeChat:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Trending via Reddit:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Live now on Pinterest:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Remember, folks, trust is like a Snapchat photo – it disappears quickly! 📸😂 Let's play it safe and keep those nudes where they belong – in the vault! 🔒😜"

again, boundary, fool, humor, joke, lesson, me, never, nudes, once, relationship, shame, times, trust, twice

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Going bananas on Slack:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Spotted on WeChat:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Trending via Twitch:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Making waves on WeChat:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Going bananas on Threads:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Making waves on Slack:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

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