Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,886

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Making waves on YouTube:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Shared recently on X:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Making waves on Facebook:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Going bananas on Slack:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Santa's got a new challenge: solving the mystery of my life by December 25th! 🎅🕵️‍♂️💡

Christmas, confusion, figure, holiday, humor, ID, life, self-improvement, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

0

1 month ago

economy, egg, egg shell, humor, sarcasm, shell, stress, uncertainty, walking
I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

0

2 months ago

back, bring, bring back, hold, hold your horse, horse, humor, me, nobody, nostalgia, stop
I overthink, therefore I am.

0

1 month ago

am, existence, humor, i, identity, irony, overthink, philosophy, self-reflection, thought
It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

0

2 months ago

bottle, celebration, chimney, day, eve, holiday, humor, leave, mom, mother’s, Mother’s Day, remember, tradition, wine
True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

0

2 months ago

comfort, freedom, humor, life, luxury, relaxation, self, sleeping, true, wake, waking, yourself
Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

0

2 months ago

coping, day, facade, feelings, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, reality, scream, smile

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

15 shares on X this month:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

51 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Making waves on Threads:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Spreading quickly via X:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Making waves on Slack:

My life coach traded me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Just landed via Discord:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Making waves on TikTok:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Breaking via Threads:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Going viral on Threads:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

I overthink, therefore I am.

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨