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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Netflix & by yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Just shared via Facebook:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Going viral on Threads:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Spotted on Slack:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Just shared via WeChat:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Trending via Discord:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

23 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about holiday confusion and wanting to solve Christmas chaos.

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Commentary:
Santa's got a new challenge: solving the mystery of my life by December 25th! 🎅🕵️‍♂️💡

Christmas, confusion, figure, holiday, humor, ID, life, self-improvement, wish

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

62 shares on Slack this month:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Seen just now on TikTok:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Going viral on Facebook:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Trending via WhatsApp:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Just shared via Discord:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Trending via TikTok:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

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Activity Log ✨

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨