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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,013

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Live now on Snapchat:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Trending via Instagram:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Live now on Instagram:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Trending via Telegram:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Mastering the ancient art of pause-play-procrastination! 🍿⏸️⏯️🚀

entertainment, four, humor, management, movie, multitasking, next, time, time management, trick, watch, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

3 months ago
always, day, ew, finger, hesitation, humor, i, index, index finger, poke, procrastination, seize, seize the day, sometimes
You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

1 month ago
arguments, communication, deception, different, gossip, humor, people, self, should, strategy, tell, things, yourself
The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

1 month ago
bakery, business, coffee, coffee shop, creative, creative business, feminine, feminine urge, flower, flower shop, humor, library, multitasking, multitasking business, open, shop, small, small business, urge
The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

1 month ago
adulthood, challenge, daily, daily routine, day, decision, decision making, eat, eating, every, humor, life, life struggle, making, real, routine, struggle
Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

1 month ago
chores, doing, humor, laundry, me, nobody, relatable, sad
Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

1 month ago
activity, awkward, cowgirl, date, dating, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Spotted on TikTok:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Making waves on Facebook:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Seen just now on Threads:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Spotted on WeChat:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

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Activity Log ✨

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

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For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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