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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Slack:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Freshly posted on X:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Trending via Threads:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Seen just now on X:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Going viral on Discord:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who said being the bigger person is the only way to go? Sometimes you just gotta embrace your inner guard dog and start barking at people 🐶🗣️ Who's ready to join the pack?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Trending via Reddit:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Shared recently on Slack:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Just landed via Twitch:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Trending via Pinterest:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

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