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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,237

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Just shared via Instagram:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Trending via Pinterest:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Just shared via Reddit:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Just landed via Twitch:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Spotted on Reddit:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Breaking via Twitch:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

2 months ago

0

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone did some extensive research in the name of personal hygiene! 🍫🧼 Who knew that the key to satisfying your sweet tooth actually lies in the soap aisle? 😂 Maybe next time we'll see a soap-scented chocolate bar hit the shelves! 🚿🍫 #SweetAndClean"

better, chocolate, comparison, dove, dove chocolate, fact, food, fun, fun fact, humor, soap, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

0

2 months ago

away, connection, distance, energy, feel, humor, i, planets, vibe
Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chest, girl, girls, humor, i, laid, last, laugh, laughing, me, moment, relationship, time
Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

0

2 months ago

activity, cardio, exercise, fun, fun activity, kids, parenting, struggle, summer, sunscreen
I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

0

2 months ago

anything, consequence, consequences, deadline, humor, i, looming, motivation, procrastination, productivity, serious
Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

0

6 months ago

breakup, broke, celebrity, fame, girl, girls, group, lesbianism, money, music, music group, over, relationship, rumor, spice, Spice Girl
You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad hair, discount, giving, hair, hair salon, haircut, haircut joke, humor, joke, know, salon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

70 shares on Threads this month:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

36 shares on X this month:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Just landed via Snapchat:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Just landed via X:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Live now on Telegram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Spotted on Discord:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Trending via Instagram:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

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