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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Reported on Reddit:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Reported on Slack:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Going viral on Telegram:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

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Funny 1989 quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Freshly posted on X:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Spotted on X:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Spotted on Instagram:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Breaking via Slack:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

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