Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Making waves on WeChat:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Breaking via Slack:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Spotted on Facebook:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Spotted on Telegram:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Funny 19S Plus Pro quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,740

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Seen just now on Slack:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Just shared via TikTok:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

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