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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Funny A/C quotes

New funny A/C quotes 👇

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

2 weeks ago

A/C, day, everyone, fingers, humor, images, need, people, power, turn

All funny A/C quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Slack this month:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

66 shares on X this month:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

11 shares on X this month:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

40 shares on X this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Spotted on X:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Trending via TikTok:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Just landed via Reddit:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

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Funny A/C quotes

New funny A/C quotes 👇

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

All funny A/C quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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