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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

Two things I learned yesterday: Iโ€™m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but Iโ€™m too old to get out of one.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

When I say โ€œI hate dramaโ€, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

Relationships are actually easy when youโ€™re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: youโ€™re not dying, itโ€™s just Thursday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

My style isnโ€™t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,052

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Messenger:

Please do not test me. Iโ€™ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Live now on Pinterest:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Shared recently on Threads:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Trending via Twitch:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Just shared via Facebook:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Shared recently on YouTube:

9-5 is really 10-2 if youโ€™re working remote.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Going viral on Instagram:

If Iโ€™m gonna jingle your bells, Iโ€™m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Home ยป Funny Abstain Quotes

Funny abstain quotes

New funny abstain quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

All funny abstain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes ๐Ÿ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
๐ŸŽฒ Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

40 shares on X this month:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You canโ€™t have both.

28 shares on Threads this month:

I think itโ€™s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. Iโ€™m going to say something.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Trying to explain to my cat why she canโ€™t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. Theyโ€™re calling it the Apollo G.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,849

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices arenโ€™t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend Iโ€™m a pretty lady.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on Telegram:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Spotted on Messenger:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Just shared via WeChat:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Yโ€™all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Breaking via Twitch:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when Iโ€™m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen โ€œto get something.โ€

Shared recently on Twitch:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Breaking via WeChat:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Going viral on Instagram:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

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