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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Making waves on Slack:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Trending via Facebook:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Live now on Snapchat:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Just landed via WeChat:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Just shared via Facebook:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Trending via Discord:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Trending via Pinterest:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Seen just now on X:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Spotted on X:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Trending via Pinterest:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

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