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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Live now on YouTube:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Going viral on YouTube:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Live now on Messenger:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Breaking via Reddit:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Funny avocado toast quotes

New funny avocado toast quotes 👇

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

3 weeks ago

25, avocado, avocado toast, cafe, comparison, cooking, cost, delivery, eats, food, food delivery, home, home cooking, humor, labor, labor cost, minute, money, price, price comparison, time, toast, Uber, Uber Eats, value, value of time, worth

All funny avocado toast quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Just shared via Facebook:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Just shared via Discord:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Just landed via WeChat:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Just shared via Threads:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Spotted on Threads:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Seen just now on Facebook:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

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Funny avocado toast quotes

New funny avocado toast quotes 👇

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

All funny avocado toast quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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