Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Making waves on WeChat:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Just landed via YouTube:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Broadcasted on X:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

Seen just now on Instagram:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Trending via Messenger:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Funny baseline quotes

New funny baseline quotes 👇

All funny baseline quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Discord this month:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,741

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Live now on Messenger:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Shared recently on Slack:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Just shared via Snapchat:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Going viral on Twitch:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

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