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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Spotted on Reddit:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Just shared via YouTube:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Just shared via Twitch:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Just shared via Twitch:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Going viral on Facebook:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Spotted on X:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Shared recently on Threads:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Just landed via WeChat:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Reported on Messenger:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Seen just now on Threads:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Breaking via X:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

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