Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Shared recently on X:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Trending via WeChat:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Going viral on Twitch:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Seen just now on TikTok:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Friends with consequences.

Breaking via Threads:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Funny before and after quotes

New funny before and after quotes 👇

All funny before and after quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

96 shares on Discord this month:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

51 shares on Discord this month:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

54 shares on Threads this month:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Breaking via TikTok:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Spotted on Threads:

At least life has music.

Just shared via Telegram:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Spotted on Discord:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴