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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2138 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,300

Funny Quotes Topics

15,025

Funny Quotes Images

12,300

3 minutes ago

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Going viral on YouTube:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Trending via Reddit:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Reported on LinkedIn:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Going viral on Slack:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Trending via Snapchat:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Just shared via Threads:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Home » Funny Before And After Quotes

Funny before and after quotes

New funny before and after quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Commentary:
"Looks like she's got the ultimate power move under her dusting gloves! 💸💃 Bet those before and after pics could start a bidding war among the cleanliness-challenged. Who knew tidying up could double as a side hustle? 😉🧹 #CleaningQueen #SecretWeapon"

For even more funny before and after quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny before and after quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2138 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,300

Funny Quotes Topics

15,025

Funny Quotes Images

12,300

3 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Broadcasted on Discord:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Seen just now on Discord:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Just shared via Instagram:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Going viral on Threads:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Making waves on Slack:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Going viral on X:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

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