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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

27 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Going viral on Messenger:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Just landed via Messenger:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Breaking via Snapchat:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Spotted on WeChat:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Home » Funny Beliefs Quotes

Funny beliefs quotes

New funny beliefs quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Commentary:
"Having strangers vomit their beliefs is like an unwelcome buffet for your soul 🤮. Keep that soul cleanse and stick to your own recipe, thank you very much! 💁‍♂️😆"
6 months ago
Share →: We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Commentary:
"Thanks to social media, we now have a front row seat to the greatest show on earth – The Theater of Absurdity starring the cast of Humanity 🤪🎭💭"
6 months ago
Share →: Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Commentary:
"Who needs enlightenment when you've got bacon sizzling in the pan? 🥓🙏 Bacon worship at its finest! 😄 #BaconOverBeliefs"

For even more funny beliefs quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny beliefs quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

27 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Trending via Telegram:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Trending via Messenger:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Trending via Discord:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Trending via Twitch:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Live now on WeChat:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

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