Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Shared recently on Discord:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Seen just now on Reddit:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Making waves on Discord:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Funny biblical figure quotes

New funny biblical figure quotes 👇

All funny biblical figure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on TikTok this month:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you tried complaining about it?

76 shares on Discord this month:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

I have friends in high places (birds).

82 shares on X this month:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Making waves on WeChat:

The reason the world felt like a better place during your childhood is because you were a child.

Just shared via WeChat:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Making waves on WeChat:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Shared recently on YouTube:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴