Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Just landed via Reddit:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Spotted on YouTube:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Going viral on TikTok:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Spotted on YouTube:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Making waves on YouTube:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Funny biological clock quotes

Funny biological clock quotes tickle your funny bone while reminding us that time waits for no one ⏰😂 Whether you’re sprinting through your 20s or gracefully embracing your 40s, these witty lines bring laughter to the ticking clock of life 🕰️🎉 Get ready to chuckle, relate, and maybe even procrastinate a little longer—because sometimes humor is the best way to handle that persistent ticking! 😜🧬

New funny biological clock quotes 👇

All funny biological clock quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

75 shares on X this month:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

46 shares on Discord this month:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They expect me to work at work.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Spotted on Instagram:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Just shared via Twitch:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Trending via Facebook:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Spotted on Slack:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Just shared via Telegram:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴