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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Spotted on Facebook:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Trending via Threads:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Going bananas on Telegram:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Shared recently on X:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Trending via Pinterest:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Funny body shame quotes

New funny body shame quotes 👇

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

4 weeks ago

body, body shame, comedy, humor, i, insecurity, just, mirror, reflection, self-image, shame

All funny body shame quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Threads this month:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Live now on Discord:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Just landed via Facebook:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Just shared via Facebook:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny body shame quotes

New funny body shame quotes 👇

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

All funny body shame quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨