Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Going viral on Twitch:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Just shared via YouTube:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Just landed via Threads:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Trending via Threads:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Going viral on Discord:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Just landed via TikTok:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

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New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Reddit this month:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Just landed via Reddit:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Trending via LinkedIn:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Shared recently on Discord:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Going bananas on Slack:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Spotted on Instagram:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Going bananas on WeChat:

50 shades of single.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

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