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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

104 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,809

Funny Quotes Topics

15,440

Funny Quotes Images

12,809

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Reported on Slack:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Just landed via Messenger:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Breaking via Instagram:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Trending via TikTok:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

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Funny bus driver quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

104 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,809

Funny Quotes Topics

15,440

Funny Quotes Images

12,809

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,463

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Just landed via Twitch:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Just landed via TikTok:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Trending via TikTok:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Making waves on TikTok:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Trending via Twitch:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

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