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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,758

Funny Quotes Topics

17,768

Funny Quotes Images

15,758

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

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3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Spotted on Discord:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Going viral on Messenger:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Trending via WeChat:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Just landed via Threads:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Trending via Pinterest:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Trending via TikTok:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Funny calculator history quotes

New funny calculator history quotes 👇

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

1 month ago

browser, browser history, calculator, calculator history, delete, Earth, embarrassing, forget, history, i, pass

All funny calculator history quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

63 shares on Discord this month:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

74 shares on X this month:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Making waves on Telegram:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Making waves on Reddit:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Spotted on Threads:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Just shared via Reddit:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Spotted on Pinterest:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Just shared via Messenger:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

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Funny calculator history quotes

New funny calculator history quotes 👇

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

All funny calculator history quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨