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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

803 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,965

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

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10,965

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Making waves on Discord:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Just landed via Instagram:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Just shared via WeChat:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Making waves on X:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Just landed via TikTok:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Trending via LinkedIn:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

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Funny chewphoria quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

803 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,965

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,965

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Pinterest:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Shared recently on Messenger:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Breaking via Instagram:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Just landed via Twitch:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Just landed via Reddit:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Trending via YouTube:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Spotted on YouTube:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

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