Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Making waves on Instagram:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Seen just now on TikTok:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Just landed via Instagram:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Going viral on TikTok:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Funny childhood aspirations quotes

New funny childhood aspirations quotes 👇

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

1 month ago

always, aspirations, business, business goals, childhood, childhood aspirations, dreams, girl, goals, growing, growth, humor, i, irony, little, little girl, needs, outcomes, satisfaction, transformative, transformative outcomes, user, user needs

All funny childhood aspirations quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WeChat this month:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

64 shares on Discord this month:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Making waves on Slack:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Live now on Snapchat:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Just shared via Telegram:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny childhood aspirations quotes

New funny childhood aspirations quotes 👇

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

All funny childhood aspirations quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨