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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Spotted on TikTok:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Breaking via Reddit:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Going viral on Messenger:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Going viral on Telegram:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Just landed via Slack:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Just landed via Pinterest:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

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All funny chimpanzee quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Breaking via YouTube:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Making waves on YouTube:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Just shared via Threads:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Going viral on X:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Spreading quickly via X:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

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