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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Going viral on Messenger:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Trending via Messenger:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Just shared via YouTube:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

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New funny chin filler quotes 👇

All funny chin filler quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

22 shares on Slack this month:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Living la vida taco!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Just landed via Facebook:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Making waves on Discord:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Live now on Reddit:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Going viral on Messenger:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

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