Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I look stable, but I talk to animals and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”