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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Just shared via X:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Shared recently on X:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Seen just now on Facebook:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Just landed via Slack:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Just landed via Messenger:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Trending via YouTube:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Making waves on Facebook:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Trending via Reddit:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Making waves on Slack:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Just shared via Instagram:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Going viral on Instagram:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

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