Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Just shared via Messenger:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Just landed via YouTube:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Making waves on WeChat:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Just landed via Instagram:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Trending via Pinterest:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Trending via Reddit:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Spotted on Instagram:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Home » Funny Colonel Quotes

Funny colonel quotes

New funny colonel quotes 👇

For even more funny colonel quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny colonel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Seen just now on X:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Live now on TikTok:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Trending via WeChat:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Trending via TikTok:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Just landed via X:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴