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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

6 hours ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Just shared via Discord:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Just landed via Slack:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Going viral on Slack:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Trending via TikTok:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Trending via Twitch:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Trending via Pinterest:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Making waves on X:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

6 hours ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Trending via Discord:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Trending via Telegram:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Spotted on Facebook:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

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