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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1874 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,036

Funny Quotes Topics

14,823

Funny Quotes Images

12,036

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Trending via Telegram:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Just shared via TikTok:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Seen just now on Discord:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Spotted on Slack:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Making waves on YouTube:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1874 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,036

Funny Quotes Topics

14,823

Funny Quotes Images

12,036

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Just shared via Twitch:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Just shared via Discord:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Shared recently on Messenger:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Just landed via YouTube:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Spotted on Messenger:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Trending via YouTube:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Making waves on Reddit:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Shared recently on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

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