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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Live now on Snapchat:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Just shared via Slack:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Just landed via YouTube:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Seen just now on X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Trending via Instagram:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Trending via YouTube:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on TikTok this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

At least life has music.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

14 shares on X this month:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Live now on Facebook:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Seen just now on Slack:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Breaking via Twitch:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

This email could’ve been sex.

Going viral on Messenger:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

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