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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Trending via Slack:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Spotted on Twitch:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Trending via Twitch:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Going viral on Twitch:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

These aliens are taking forever.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Trending via Instagram:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Shared recently on Discord:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Making waves on Instagram:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Just shared via Discord:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

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