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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2417 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,579

Funny Quotes Topics

15,247

Funny Quotes Images

12,579

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Just shared via Messenger:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Just shared via Messenger:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Just shared via Slack:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Trending via Threads:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

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Funny croc quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2417 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,579

Funny Quotes Topics

15,247

Funny Quotes Images

12,579

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Breaking via Instagram:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Making waves on Twitch:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Going viral on Slack:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Just landed via Messenger:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Going viral on Discord:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

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