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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Spotted on Facebook:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Trending via Reddit:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Going viral on Messenger:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Just shared via X:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Just landed via Telegram:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Shared recently on Slack:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Funny crowded quotes

Funny crowded quotes bring the chaos of packed places to life with a hilarious twist 😄🚌 From sardine-can subways to bustling markets, these witty lines capture the madness and make you laugh out loud 🤣 Whether you’re stuck in a crowd or just people-watching, get ready to smile at the madness around you! 🎉👥 #CrowdedLife #LaughOutLoud

New funny crowded quotes 👇

All funny crowded quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Salary week, but salary weak.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

75 shares on Discord this month:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

12 shares on YouTube this month:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is based on a true story.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Freshly posted on Threads:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Breaking via Pinterest:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Making waves on Facebook:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Trending via Twitch:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Spotted on Reddit:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

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