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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Talents: eating!

Live now on Pinterest:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Making waves on X:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Going viral on Messenger:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Just landed via WeChat:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Trending via TikTok:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Funny crown quotes

Funny crown quotes 👑 bring a royal twist to everyday laughs! Whether you’re feeling like a queen, king, or just the ruler of your own quirky kingdom, these witty lines add sparkle and sass to your day. Ready to rock that invisible crown with a smile? Get ready for some hilarious, regal vibes that’ll have you ruling the throne of humor in no time! 😂✨

New funny crown quotes 👇

All funny crown quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on YouTube this month:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

47 shares on X this month:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

All roads lead to disappointment.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Making waves on TikTok:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Making waves on X:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Trending via Reddit:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Just landed via TikTok:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

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