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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2143 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,305

Funny Quotes Topics

15,032

Funny Quotes Images

12,305

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Just landed via Discord:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Shared recently on Discord:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Going viral on YouTube:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Seen just now on Threads:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2143 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,305

Funny Quotes Topics

15,032

Funny Quotes Images

12,305

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,440

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Just landed via Instagram:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Trending via Snapchat:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Going viral on Threads:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Shared recently on Threads:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Making waves on Threads:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

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