Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Live now on Reddit:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Funny dating life quotes

Funny dating life quotes bring all the laughs and eye rolls you need when love gets a little messy 💔😂 Whether you’re swiping right, ghosted again, or navigating awkward first dates, these witty words capture every hilarious moment of modern romance 💕📱 Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe even cringe a little—because dating doesn’t have to be serious to be seriously entertaining! 😜❤️‍🔥

New funny dating life quotes 👇

All funny dating life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on TikTok this month:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

88 shares on X this month:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

27 shares on Threads this month:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

14 shares on X this month:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Life begins when you can afford it.

75 shares on Discord this month:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Freshly posted on X:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Just shared via TikTok:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Just shared via YouTube:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Making waves on Messenger:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Spotted on Reddit:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Just shared via Pinterest:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Just landed via X:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

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