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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Making waves on TikTok:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Just shared via Reddit:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Going viral on Telegram:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Home » Funny Defibrillator Quotes

Funny defibrillator quotes

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All funny defibrillator quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“She’s so self-centered.” Who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Just landed via Instagram:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

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