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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now theyโ€™re your problem.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Babe, are you okay? Youโ€™ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Watching Jaws with my kid because Iโ€™m sick of going to the beach.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,691

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Telegram:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Just landed via Reddit:

Everyone thinks they wonโ€™t be that couple that goes from โ€˜everything you do is a turn-onโ€™ to โ€˜youโ€™re breathing too loud,โ€™ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Just landed via YouTube:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Shared recently on Discord:

Itโ€™s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Trending via WeChat:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s comingโ€”either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Spotted on Snapchat:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Home ยป Funny Deployment Quotes

Funny deployment quotes

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๐ŸŽฒ Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

50 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You donโ€™t really see women throwing their boyfriendโ€™s stuff out the window anymore.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I donโ€™t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,880

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wั–th the whole famั–ly?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you donโ€™t know, with no teeth.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

The question I ask myself most often is, โ€œWhat would a jury think about this?โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyoneโ€™s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Trending via Pinterest:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Seen just now on X:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Just landed via Discord:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Just landed via Reddit:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Going viral on X:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Seen just now on Slack:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Breaking via Threads:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Going viral on Facebook:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because itโ€™s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

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