Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Seen just now on Discord:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Freshly posted on Discord:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Seen just now on Slack:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Spotted on Facebook:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Trending via Twitch:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Just landed via Slack:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Spotted on Facebook:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Funny deviled egg quotes

New funny deviled egg quotes 👇

All funny deviled egg quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Threads this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

46 shares on X this month:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,297

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Broadcasted on Slack:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Making waves on YouTube:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Breaking via X:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Just landed via X:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Shared recently on Discord:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Making waves on Discord:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

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