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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Just shared via YouTube:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Shared recently on Slack:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Breaking via X:

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Trending via Slack:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Live now on Slack:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Trending via TikTok:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Funny dinner conversation quotes

New funny dinner conversation quotes 👇

All funny dinner conversation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on TikTok this month:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

24 shares on X this month:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

41 shares on Discord this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

84 shares on X this month:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is too short, and death is too long.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Spotted on Pinterest:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Just landed via Pinterest:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Live now on Threads:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Trending via Messenger:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Making waves on WeChat:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Going viral on Snapchat:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

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