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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,759

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Just shared via X:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Making waves on YouTube:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Funny dinner date quotes

New funny dinner date quotes 👇

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

3 weeks ago

activity, alternative, case, court, date, date alternative, dinner, dinner date, forget, fun, fun activity, listening, sit

All funny dinner date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

18 shares on Threads this month:

My parents think they know me.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Going viral on Threads:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Trending via YouTube:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Just shared via X:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Making waves on X:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Trending via Facebook:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Making waves on X:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny dinner date quotes

New funny dinner date quotes 👇

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

All funny dinner date quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨